| There's a problem many of my colleagues have faced | | | | statement, we can talk. Otherwise, some arbitrary |
| of late. With alarming frequency, entrepreneurs, | | | | "percentage" of your personal pipedream, even at 50 |
| freelancers and others who make their livings | | | | percent, is either a pipe or a dream. I don't smoke and |
| proffering talents that have taken lifetimes to develop | | | | the stuff my dreams are made of is clearly different |
| are asked to work for free. | | | | than yours (insert your favorite "Maltese Falcon" quote |
| Such requests, of course, are seldom as forthrightly | | | | here). |
| phrased as "work for free," camouflaged as they are | | | | On rare occasions, clients have bartered their wares |
| in chummy badinage peppered with terms like "spec," | | | | and services for the license to an existing work. This |
| "barter" and "trade." Though all three of these | | | | can be negotiated on a per case basis (and when I |
| concepts have their rightful place in our recovering | | | | say case, I don't mean a bottle of wine - I mean a |
| economy, the bank tends to frown upon massage gift | | | | case). To that end - a beer, coffee or even lunch does |
| certificates and cheese plates sent to pay the | | | | not constitute payment for my time. If you want an |
| mortgage. | | | | actual consultation on your project (wherein, I'm not |
| After witnessing a friend routinely exploited by his own | | | | merely flattering you for picking up the tab) let's do |
| generosity and apparent inability to invoice anyone with | | | | business. Otherwise, we're just dating. |
| whom he's traded nothing more than smiles, I was | | | | Under penalty of public humiliation, never ever ask me |
| inspired to write my own credo as an act of | | | | for a creative contribution based on the prospect of |
| clarification for would-be clients as well as myself. As | | | | "great exposure." The fact that you believe this to be |
| I've gleaned from others who work independently, the | | | | attractive to a working professional means I'm |
| money conversation is often more difficult than | | | | overexposed as is. And apparently to the wrong |
| discussing the birds and bees with one's kid. | | | | people - the kind of people who lack respect for the |
| In fact, I myself have sometimes opted to discuss the | | | | fact that I've got to buy food for my infant son to |
| birds and bees with prospective clients rather than | | | | wear. |
| money since I was getting screwed anyway. This no | | | | If you represent a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that |
| longer happens to me, which I attribute to the verbiage | | | | boasts an ethos in alignment with my admittedly |
| below. | | | | recherche values, you may send a written proposal. |
| I posted a version of this brief screed on my own | | | | Please don't send a questionnaire regarding my |
| Web site this week to great effect. I offer it here to | | | | recherché values. If you cannot assess what they |
| whomever needs it under a creative commons "share | | | | are from my work, then you likely aren't sufficiently |
| and share alike" license, meaning you can retrofit and | | | | familiar with my work (especially a couple of films that |
| use it for your personal business needs as necessary | | | | will keep me permanently out of politics) and likely |
| so long as you let others do the same with your | | | | won't want me at your event, in your anthology or |
| improvements. Here goes: | | | | speaking at your commencement anyway. |
| I do not work for free. | | | | If, by some strange alignment of the stars we share a |
| OK, admittedly, this seldom does the trick. So, here's | | | | mutual ethos and the same gaping hole in our |
| more: | | | | schedules - wonderful - I'll see you at the prison ribbon |
| I also don't work on spec seeing as I have enough of | | | | cutting. Also, I will not read your script, epic poetry |
| my own speculative contributions to our culture in the | | | | cycle, inspiring personal saga of overcoming |
| works. If you have stock options to offer in a real | | | | graphophobia, etc. However, I will consult with you at |
| company with secured funding and a future so bright | | | | my regular fee. When I'm not reading for pleasure, it's |
| that a welding mask is more than a mere fashion | | | | work. And don't get me started about writing... |